Acumen8

Don't be Afraid to Engage the Help of Others

As I prepared for my back surgery, I looked for family and friends who might be able to take my children for a weekend. My brother Willie and his wife Bonny graciously accepted caring for my boys this past weekend. Although it is a huge favor to ask someone to look after your children, there are dividends for everyone involved. I went through this process last spring when my son Giles had open heart surgery. Several families took my son Jarvie, so I could be home with Giles and help him calmly recover from his surgery. Of course, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to each of these families. My sister Annie played a special role last summer and not only cared for Jarvie here in Cleveland but also took him home to Boston for 10 days!

What I’ve discovered is that the intimacy that develops from providing primary care to a young child allows love to grow and bonds to form that without these special circumstances would never have been forged! Can you see the love?

Share your very own experience soliciting the help of others.

When the Cat's Away, the Mice will Play!

Luca Doo & the Kitty Babies

Interesting but true, when my boys are gone, my cats and dogs interact with me more. They are more engaging and even more demanding. They want more from me, perhaps because they sense I have more to give. So in this scenario, the boys, Jarvie and Giles are the cat and my cats, Gracie and Tatiana, and dogs, Jake and Mae Mae, are the mice!

I have to say my animals have been that much more present and involved with me, since the boys have been away for the weekend. It fascinates me that they sense the void and easily fill it by simply coming hither. It’s that hierarchical thing that animals get implicitly. They grasp the shift and respond quickly to it. No one has to tell them or call them. They know and change accordingly.

I think the quiet in the house is part of it as well. They respond to that too, especially the cats. The cats feel safer in the quieter space. It is not just the boys and all the commotion they create either. It’s me too. I am different in the house alone. I have no one to direct or hurry up. I have no squabbles to resolve. I am not yelling directions from one floor to the next. So perhaps I become more approachable as I calm down and literally make less noise. Hmmm now that is some food for thought. Perhaps it would be better for all of us, human, canine and feline if the home were quieter. Maybe there is a hidden message here from the animals to me regarding how I need to position myself with my children. Boy oh boy am I ever going to give this some thought!

Bring Baby Home Though Surrogacy

Surrogacy Made Easy

Just Days after my surrogacy babies were born!

A 6 week group coaching group will be offered for people having trouble conceiving, who want to bring their baby home through surrogacy.

The group will begin on July 14th, 2015 and continue for five consecutive weeks. The group will be held on Tuesdays at 1:00 PM until 2:00 PM. People will gather on a Bridgeline over the phone. The Dial In Number and Meeting ID will be provided once you have registered. Group members will be able to communicate with one another between calls through a Forum called Surrogacy Rocks here on the blog site. Materials for the group will be available through a box. Details as to how to gain access to the box will be made known once you have signed up for the group. Be prepared to complete Action Steps between calls!

Make arrangements soon, because space is limited. I hope to meet you in the group coaching group.

The URL that you need to register is Eventbrite.com/event/175348612421/

https://www.Eventbrite.com/e/bring-baby-home-through-surrogacy/tickets-175348612422/

Gift to Self: A Composter!

Composting & Gardening

My birthday was Wednesday and I turned 55. I don’t know what the typical 55 year old wants for their birthday, if there even is such a thing, but I do know what I wanted and what I got! I have been eyeing composters for about 5 years now. I even wanted to start a composting pile a number of years back. I just was stumped by how I was going to mix the compost pile. Just looks like back breaking work. It wasn’t until I found one of these upright ones, which sets on a stand, well off the ground and can be spun by the handles on the side, that I figured out how to bypass the back breaking limitations that kept giving me so much pause. So when my birthday was coming around this year, I knew just what I wanted! I wanted the Rolls Royce of composters, of course! Fortunately, the boxes, shipped through Amazon’s prime, arrived the day before my birthday, in time for me to arrange to have John, our handy man, put it together. I was so happy having John out back assembling the darn thing, while the boys buzzed about. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!

You see it all fits in with my core value that you have to give back to the earth and you must actively work at in the spring and the fall. What is cool about the Composter is that it will allow me to pursue this purpose and passion throughout the entire year. I will be working on creating “black gold” year round. The more black gold I help to create, the greater my bounty from my own garden. And not for nothin, the produce will be more nutritious for my family too!

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC
The Surrogacy Coach from Surrogacy Rocks
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio

Does a mother ever get to fully sleep?

Single Mom By Choice

Cousin Brycie Reading to the Boys before Bed

My 5 year old twins are away for the weekend, with my little brother Will and his family. This weekend was supposed to be my chance to get a break, and focus just on me, while I am recovering from spinal surgery. I had big plans too. I was supposed to go out for breakfast, with my brother, Charlie, and a childhood friend, Dianne, was coming, in from Kent, for the afternoon. But everything got dashed by the darn flu! Bummer! Now I tell you what, Recovery meets Flu meets Fibro is a complete pain in the neck!

This weekend is the first time the boys, and I have been separated, without anyone being in the hospital, in more than five years. What I noticed before I got sick is that I slept like a log. The sleep was just of a deeper quality, than I can generally attain. Maybe there is something to that old wives’ tale, that a mother sleeps with one eye open!